Wednesday, April 23, 2008

THOUGHT - (Gnipeels eb dluohs i) Sdrawkcab delleps setats.

Alabama
Amabala
An Arabic delicacy.

Alaska
Aksala
A fast train.

Arizona
Anozira
A sleeping pill.

Arkansas
Sasnakra
A dietary supplement.

California
Ainrofilac
A flower.

Colorado
Odaroloc
A god of a native Americans tribe.

Connecticut
Tucitcennoc
The 100th tucit.

Delaware
Erawaled
In Waled's time.

Florida
Adirolf
He invaded Poland.

Georgia
Aigroeg
A hair growth potion.

Hawaii
Iiawah
Saying all the vowels really fast.

Idaho
Ohadi
An Indian horseman

Illinois
Sionilli
A Jewish-Italian surname

Indiana
Anaidni
The alien race known only to Art Bell fans.

Iowa
Awoi
Part of the All Black's Haka chant.

Kansas
Sasnak
A profane word for the modern era.

Kentucky
Ykcutnek
Russian for "redneck"

Louisiana
Anaisiuol
A medicinal alcohol.

Maine
Eniam
The latest otaku festival.

Maryland
Dnalyram
An uncomfortable sexual position.

Massachusetts
Sttesuhcassam
It still looks like "Massachusetts" even when backwards, except now it's a chasm.

Michigan
Nagihcim
A Japanese angel.

Minnesota
Atosennim
An antivenin.

Mississippi
Ippississim
An ippie sissie sim. OK I didn't try very hard with this one.

Missouri
Iruossim
If you read this aloud, it sounds like you're saying "Hello, Sam" while drunk.

Montana
Anatnom
I studied this in school.

Nebraska
Aksarben
A rail line. Seriously.

Nevada
Adaven
A small Dutch city.

New Hampshire
Erihspmah Wen
A Yiddish Chinaman.

New Jersey
Yesrej Wen
A Scandinavian Chinaman.

New Mexico
Ocixem Wen
An Aztec Chinaman.

New York
Kron Wen
A Chinese person that misunderstood choosing an American name.

North Carolina
Anilorac Htron
A woman in the seventh Star Wars movie.

North Dakota
Atokad Htron
The husband of the woman in the seventh Star Wars movie.

Ohio
Oiho
A test case for dyslexia.

Oklahoma
Amohalka
Mountaineering clothing for traditional Indian shepherds

Oregon
Nogero
A Japanese city

Pennsylvania
Ainavlysnnep
Something in Welsh.

Rhode Island
Dnalsi Edohr
He was an Elf.

South Carolina
Anilorac Htuos
The cousin of the aforementioned woman from the seventh Star Wars movie.

South Dakota
Atokad Htuos
By amazing coincidence, the husband of the cousin of the aforementioned woman from the seventh Star Wars movie.

Tennessee
Eessennet
What the Senate is called in the South.

Texas
Saxet
They merged with the Anglets to become the Anglet-Saxets.

Utah
Hatu
Japanese for "Hat".

Vermont
Tnomrev
"Tnom go rev... vroom vroom"

Virginia
Ainigriv
A classic blues ballad.

Washington
Notgnihsaw
Why is the "g" is silent?

West Virginia
Ainigriv Tsew
Sun Tzu's blues-singing nephew.

Wisconsin
Nisnocsiw
A military acronym.

Wyoming
Gnimoyw
Gleonardw Gnimoyw.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

THOUGHT - PA Election Factoid

I think it's interesting how in every election since 1976, Pennsylvania has successfully voted for the Presidential candidate whom would win the Pennsylvanian primary.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

POLITICS - Uncle Bossi's Political Rundown

From however much attention I was paying to the debates:

Plugging his/her website:
Hillary - 2
Obama - 0

Mispronouncing "Lancaster":
Hillary - 1
Obama - 0

Way to be in touch.

When I'm running for President, I'm going to make my campaign website something like boomshakalaka.com (if only it weren't already taken by some skeezy/cheesy-looking audio website).

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

THOUGHT - Made In (the Republic of) China

I think it would be a lot of fun to go to some store around here -- say, a Wal*Mart -- and take a bunch of "Made In Taiwan" stickers off the merchandise. Then go to the Olympics in China, visit some of the shops there, and put those stickers on everything.

Friday, April 4, 2008

THOUGHT - Don't Squeeze My Goomba

I had a very philosophical rant today about Mario. Now think about it, here you have this man -- a plumber by trade -- running around to save a princess. Firstly, why is the princess in such dire straits? What exactly was she doing to get herself kidnapped in the first place? Where were her ever-vigilant 4-foot tall guards with their 3-foot tall mushroom hats? Dagnabit, ma'am, hire yourself a Swiss legion; and when you're playing football: wear some clothes and don't come off as such a ditz. All you do is bake cakes, pick peaches, and get yourself kidnapped.

I find myself wondering: is Bowser after her money; her power; or is Bowser just a pervert after some cross-species lovins? Or maybe Bowser has a thing for Victorian-esque dresses and is just seeking some fashion advice the only way he knows how: kidnapping people. Maybe, growing up, all Bowser ever learned from his parents was that force was the answer: so he's never known any other way. I bet if you exhaled fire with every breath, people might stay kind of far away from you -- that sort of isolation can be pretty rough on a little kid. Just because he likes the color pink and comes off as a bit of a bully, Mario has to go and be a hot-shot.

By "hot-shot" I mean this: he runs around and jumps on cute little critter's heads, squashing them down to a pancake. I mean, would you seriously go out and, say, jump on an innocent little bunny? Goombas really aren't so different from a bunny: all they ever do is amble about; and there are hundreds of them all over the place. And "goomba" is an Italian term for a very close friend, so really what Mario is doing is squishing cute little guys that just want to be his buddy. Then there's Koopas, wandering about with babbling mouths resembling little fishies... well... OK maybe resembling little turtles. Every Marylander should take dear offense every time a precious terrapin is lost beneath that pair of Italian shoes.

I'm really irked whenever Mario comes up to a flying critter. In these situations, Mario must either land on top of the hapless animal and jump off its head to reach the ledge on the far side; or Mario will fall to his doom. Clearly, option #2 is not a preferable choice for our "hero", so he runs off and leaps on top of a jovial beast whose only crime is enjoying the breeze beneath its wings. In its last for moments of life before an overweight plumber quashes his aviator spirits and sends him falling to his doom, I'm sure that critter wishes he knew what made it so bloody important that Mario had to get across that cliff.

What I want to know is just that: why does Mario HAVE to get across that ledge, anyway? Didn't Mario ever learn that he shouldn't go jumping off of cliffs? Or that cliffs are dangerous? I mean, he might miss the critter and then Mario would himself meet his demise. I bet Mario's mother would be disheartened to learn that her son ran off the edge like a lemming, and she would surely blame herself for never teaching him any better. "If only he joined the mafia like every other young boy, he wouldn't have gotten into this mess," she'd say.

Whenever I am playing Mario and come to a point where I have to sacrifice a koopa or a goomba to the great abyss just so I don't have to fall into the void myself, I always turn around and go back the other way. It's just not worth it, man... it's just not worth it.